Wednesday, October 24, 2007

steinbrenner implicated in doping scandal

Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has become the latest sports figure implicated in a doping scandal. In an effort to maintain control of the pinstrip juggernaut forever, King George, has reportedly received shipments of human growth hormone from the same Florida pharmacy that supplied Rick Ankiel and Paul Byrd.

When asked if this was a good idea, George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary, stated emphatically, "Well, I wish I could say yes, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!"

Apparently HGH works wonders, since in the past few years Mr. Steinbrenner has grown noticeably younger in appearance. Alas, however, one of the side effects of continued use of illegal doping aids is to apparently induce a state of perpetual unhappiness in the user.
m.o.i.:yankees on hgh
m.o.i.: maillot jaune
m.o.i.: corporate money
m.o.i.: white hat, black hat, yellow jersey
m.o.i.: the 2-mile high club
m.o.i.: flance to wear zero for prologue
m.o.i.: you've lost that lovin' feeling
m.o.i.: give it up

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