Thursday, May 31, 2007

you've lost that lovin' feeling

Petaluma, CA. News flash! Floyd Landis has called Phil Spector and Aledrei K. Lugovoi to testify on his behalf at his doping trial.

Spector, if he can be released from prison, is likely to testify that he never asked Lemond to "be my, be my little baby", while Luguvoi may suggest that the test results in question are likely a false-positive resulting from a cross reaction to trace amounts of polonium-210. Although not currently on the list of banned substances, most ruling bodies consider ingestion of polonium-210 to provide questionable health benefits.
Landis reportedly chose Spector and Lugovoi after noticing that both were enamored with a certain 70's sartorial flare. "The 70's and the head of the peleton are one of the few times when yellow can be considered fashionable." Landis, whose strict Mennonite upbringing forced him to be clad in black during his formative years and suppress a natural tendency to stretch the truth, has developed a fondness for colorful characters in the recent past.
Efforts to supenoa Jerry Falwell as a character witness were met by his untimely death. Lance "I did it 7 times with 1 ball"Armstrong is expected to testify that naturally-occuring testosterone is over-rated. No word yet on whether Tinky Winky will be called to the stand to demystify exactly what is meant when the LIVESTRONG braclet is worn on the left wrist.

m.o.i.: you've lost that lovin' feeling
m.o.i.: maillot jaune
m.o.i.: corporate money
m.o.i.: white hat, black hat, yellow jersey
m.o.i.: the 2-mile high club
m.o.i.: flance to wear zero for prologue

m.o.i.: give it up
stage 17 recap

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