white house claims al queda behind jellyfish attack

The White House claimed today it had evidence linking Al Queada to the massive jellyfish attack on a salmon farm off the coast of Northern Ireland. Over 500,000 salmon were believed to be killed in the attack. "These people will stop at nothing to disrupt our way of life," said President Bush in a statement released to the press.
"In 30 years, I've never seen anything like it. It was unprecedented, absolutely amazing. The sea was red with these jelly fish and there was nothing we could do about, it, absolutely nothing." John Russell, the managing director of Northern Salmon Co. Ltd., said.

However, the White House emphatically denied recent reports circulating on the Internet that a relative of Osama bin Laden was the mastermind behind the Kennedy Assassination and pointed to video of the incident posted on youtube by Abraham Zapruder as evidence that a lone gunman was responsible for the shots in Dealy Plaza.