Saturday, November 17, 2007

algebraic word problem spells world doom

The Israeil cryptographer, Adi Shamir, has predicted that the end of world could be the result of an undetected algebra problem. Damm! Will al Queda stop at nothing? Must we now learn math? Vigilance forever or as I like to say:
which translated means that you have to pay the bank a whole shitload of money if you ever need to borrow some.

Anyway all this math stuff got me to thinking, with all the writer's on strike, who writes the word problems? This could be the saving grace for many who are flunking algebra and could provide you, gentle reader, respite from having to watch the same episode of Dexter for 5 nights running. So enjoy this problem, I like to call:

There are 4 politicians who want to go on stage and take their rightful place at the podium before the debate begins. They all begin in the audience (think young and diverse!) shaking hands and smoozing. You have 17 minutes to get all of the candidates on stage before the show goes live or else the terrorist (played by Wolf Blitzer) will set off a canister of nerve gas killing everyone inside, including the diverse, innocent (did I say beautiful and mostly blond?) college students invited by youtube to watch this disaster unfold.

The stage is completely dark and the candidates must cross the stage carrying a lighted candle (this represents ETERNAL HOPE and flickers constantly). There is but one FLICKERING CANDLE of HOPE. A maximum of two candidates can cross at one time. Any candidate who crosses, either 1 or 2 people, must have the FLICKERING CANDLE of HOPE with them. The FLICKERING CANDLE of HOPE must be walked back and forth, it cannot be thrown, or rolled on the ground. Each candidate walks at a different speed. A pair must walk together at the rate of the slower candidate's pace.

Hillary Clinton: takes 1 minute to cross
Barack Obama: takes 2 minutes to cross
John Edwards: takes 5 minutes to cross
Dennis Kucinich: takes 10 minutes to cross

For example, if Hillary Clinton and Dennis Kucinich walk across first, 10 minutes have elapsed when they get to the other side of the stage. If Dennis Kucinich then returns with the flashlight, a total of 20 minutes have passed and you have failed the mission and the once and future President is DEAD, as are many, many innocent, beautiful college students, and Anderson Cooper is covering the story 24/7/365.

What is the order required to get all candidates across in 17 minutes?

Answers tomorrow.
m.o.i.quiz answers

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