president pardons convicted felons

While millions of Americans packed their stuffing into clear quart bags and prepared to be humiliated by the Dept. of Homeland lackeys, El Presidento was quietly pardoning two convicted felons. Bush issued the pardons yesterday at the White House and ordered the airspace between Reagan National and Miami-Dade Airports cleared so that the felons, whom Bush referred to as Liberty and Freedom, could spend time with their family members, Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Daffy, and Porky near Orlando.

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