Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Long Pass to Scramble Backfield: the Legend of Brett Favre

Legend has it that he was born in a horse barn in Backfield, Mississippi. In truth, the 14th, and last child of Irv and Bonny, was conceived during halftime of Super Bowl III. Irv, no fan of the AFL, tired and embarrassed that the tumbledown Colts were behind by 7 at halftime to a cross-dressing New Yorker with a drinking problem, decided to take control of the home offense and in an efficient, 4-minute drive quickly crossed the goal line. Unfortunately, the extra point was muffed and these were the last points for the home team

Irv wanted to name him Bart, after the famous Packer’s quarterback, but Bonny, who was listening to "Indian Love Call" by Fernando Lamas during what was then, by today’s standards, a meager halftime show, nixed the idea outright. They settled on a compromise, thus Brett Lorenzo Favre (pronounced FavRAH) came into the world.

The family dreamed that the last heir of a coach might some day play semi-pro football with the hometown team. The rebellious son would have none of it. Folks thought him a nerdy kid; he was a poor student, one who never played sports or hunted in the fields like most other backwoods boys. When given the choice between the Marines or art school, he chose the kiln, and spent his late teens learning the touchy art of fine ceramic glazes and dreaming of becoming a consummate craftsman.

Art school turned out to be too literal for the moody upstart. The young man was asked to leave the program after one semester for being overly expressive, which he took as a compliment.

Leaving art school turned out to be fortuitous for the young Favre. The early 1990's were a scarce time for jobs, especially for someone who lacked a formal education and spoke only Creole fluently. Eventually, he landed a job translating the works of the great Choctaw Chief Pushmataha, but the work failed to financially sustain him.

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A frigid January day changed Favre’s life forever. Walking down the street in Chicago, Brett was spotted by his high school nemesis, Riley Snipnash, the standout starting quarterback who had misplaced his father’s attention and stolen his girlfriend’s heart during Brett’s sophomore year. Snipsnash had never forgiven Favre for painting a caricature of the high school hero that resembled, some said, a cross between the cartoon hero George of the Jungle and Dabney Coleman. The painting won first prize at the county fair and was reproduced on the cover of the local paper, after which Snipsnash became the butt of jokes and lost the respect of his linemen. Upon seeing Favre, Snipsnash crossed the street and unceremoniously body-checked the unsuspecting Favre off the sidewalk and into the street where he was accidentally struck by a city bus. Despite suffering severe injuries that required a six month hospital stay, 4 reconstructive surgeries, and 2 years of rehabilitation, Favre eventually walked from the hospital on his own accord.

Once leaving the hospital Favre vowed to never again be the victim of chance, bullies, or a vague economy. He dedicated his life to other causes and disappeared from the public eye for several years. It was frequently rumored that during those missing years he captained an itinerant rugby team composed primarily of oil derrick roustabouts and union meat-packers who prided themselves on guzzling beer and breaking each other’s noses, after which they would proceed to take on any and all opponents. It is said their greatest triumph was the day they scrummed a group of senseless Chicago bond traders out of $3500, ten cases of PBR, and 8 season tickets to Lambeau Field.

Favre’s trenchant story has now become legend for legions. As yet unfinished, there are many who believe that he has achieved a great deal of success for someone with only a modicum of natural talent.




Photo: John Ritter as the young
Favre in the HBO movie,
Scramble Backfield, 1996

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