republicans set to eliminate hurricanes

The timing of Hurrican Gustav couldn't be better for the much maligned Republicans. The Party of War Profiteers was all set to unveil their All New Hurricane Prevention Plan during the Minnesota convention, one that would that replace the few remaining acres of coastal wetlands with oil derricks and thus protect us once and for all from Mother Nature's mischievous cousin, Global Climate Disruption. Now it's likely this platform issue won't be debated on live television but can instead be worked over in the back room over bourbon and cigars.

But reports that Gustav will wreak havoc with the convention are a little premature. Seems as though, as Mayor Nagen likes to call it, the mother-of-all storms will just allow the Republicans to stay on message and continue to underscore one of their core platforms, "Want help? Then pray real hard."