limited time introductory offer

The following questions were used to vett Jeb Bush for the 2012 election. Get out the dragnet for God and Praise Jesus, he did not pass. When I say go, you may turn the page and you have exactly 3 minutes to complete the questions. Please put down your pencils when I say stop.

Ok GO!

Paper or plastic or hemp?

Giants or Yankees? Dodgers or Yankees? Yankees or Red Sox? National or American?

Should George Bush's presidency have an asterik placed next to it?

Why can't the President dance? And the First Lady?

Bird or Trane? Mingus or Davis? Ellington or Ella? Billie Holliday or Nina Simone or Madeline Peyroux? Sinatra or Nat King?

To the best of your recollection when was the first time that you became aware of the fact that the President and Ms. Myers were having a tryst in the Rose Garden?

To the best of your recollection, when was the first time that you became aware of the fact that the First Lady and Condi were reading the collected works of Sappho together at a Georgetown book club?

Johnny or June Carter? George or Tammy? Kurt or Courtney?

Are you aware of any alien life forms living in our midst?

Who's more inept? Agent Fox Mulder or Agent Jack Bauer? More believable? More dangerous?

Dick Cheney shot a lawyer just to watch him die?

Which would be the best way to help? Don't cross that line. Get in the second chopper. Drop your weapon, NOW! Listen up to ole-timey music.

Why can't the soldiers in Iraq just click their heels together 3 times and come home?

TIME! and STOP!