guy walks into a bar

ok. Guy walks into his favorite bar and sits down, orders a beer, looks over and see's a man sitting at the end of the bar dressed in a cheerleader costume: makeup, earrings, lipstick, pompons on the bar, the whole getup. Bartender brings the guy his beer, the guy leans over the bar, ''psst, Joe, everyday I come in here after work, have my two beers, go home to my wife and kids, get up the next day and go back to work, the same thing over and over. Today, though, everything's the same except when I get to the bar, order my beer and then I look over and there's a man dressed up like a cheerleader at the end of the bar. whaddup' wit dat?" Bartender nonchalantly wipes the counter, takes the guy's money and says, ''some dude from Texas''.

Next day. Guy walks into the same bar after working all day, sits down and orders his beer from Joe the bartender. The guy takes a long pull off the beer, looks over and sees the same man from the day before sitting at the end of the bar except this time the man's wearing a kilt and he's got hammers, rulers, chalk line, pliers, all kinds of worker's gear hanging off the kilt, PLUS he's wearing a hardhat. When the guy see's this he can't help it, he coughs beer all over the counter. Joe comes over, wipes up the mess on the bar. Guy whispers. "Joe, uhhh, man at the end of the bar....?" Joe turns, shakes his head, walks away and mutters "some dude from Texas".

Very next day. Same guy walks into the same bar, sits in the same place, orders his same beer. Looks over, sees the seat at the end of the bar is unoccupied and let's out an audible sigh. "Long week?" Joe asks.

"Yeah," the guy says "helluva week. Thank God it's over. You know I just don't understand the world anymore, I used to, but now it seems that it's all topsy-turvy. Everywhere I turn seems there’s something new and crazy going all. Cross-dressers. Macho men in utili-kilts. Wars everywhere. I just don’t get it."

Bartender says, "hey buddy, this is America, people got a right to be whoever they want. Anybody wants to come in my bar is welcome and if you don't like the company you can leave! Think you can have a beer after work in Iraqi? Ever think about that?"
"You're right" the guy says, "I'm just stressed out. Long week."

Guy finishes his beer and orders an another. Pretty soon a beautiful woman comes into the bar and sits down right next to him. She orders a double martini, neat, which she proceeds to gulp. "Bartender" she points to the empty glass and makes a circle with her hand. Another double martini straight down the hatch. Again, "bartender!".

"Whoa, Nelly," the guy says, "I know it’s Friday but shouldn’t you take it a little slower?"

The woman turns, pulls the curls from over her eye, and weakly smiles. "Here’s to love."

"To love!" Their glasses klink. "Joe! Another round, this time I’ll have what this lovely lady is having."

"You don’t want that," the lady says. "No. No you don’t. You see, I just got a call from my husband who was stationed in the Green zone. A couple of nights ago they were on patrol and an IUD went off and blew shrapnel through the window. He was driving. Tore off his right arm, part of his left hand, half of his nose. He’s alive, but will never be the same."

"Oh my God, I so sorry" the guy says, puts his arm around her. "I thought we making progress over there? How does that stuff happen?"

Bartender tops off the martinis. Looks ém both in the eye and says, "I’ll tell you how it happens, it’s simple - some dude from Texas."