congress tackles nfl long hairs

Senator John McCain is expected to call for hearings on the growing plethora of long hair among NFL players. Recalling the days of his youth, McCain insisted that the last time American males openly sported long hair in public, we lost another unpopular, un-winnable war.



Citing a moral imperative to keep the status quo from taking any more direct hits, McCain said, "my friends, we will not go down that path again. Americans will cut their hair. Just imagine, at two bits apiece, what hair cuts could do for the economy!"