summer program threatens to replace teenagers with pesticides

Warrior Ant Press has obtained information from a Crop Life Ambassdor that exposes an evil plan whereby some members of Congress hope to replace twittering teenagers with pesticides. However, First Lady Michelle Obama has been working quietly behind the scenes on a summer program that may save a few teenagers from 'replacement'. The program has been labeled elistist by some but other critics have gone even further, calling the program, which hires troubled youth to pull weeds from the organic White House kitchen garden, a new form of slavery.