trex reviews: modern dog

Trex, the initable Rare West Tibetan Mountain, picked up a copy of moderndog:the lifestyle magazine for modern dogs, during a visit to the vet. He spares no bark in this review.

The mag had me howling for the moon. I mean come'on, Ellen? with her favorite bitch at her side. Who doesn't love that?

Although I did find the article "When Good Dogs Go Bad" a little over-the-top. Sure genes are part of it, but education is the key. I'm not talking the dog's either. Some of the people that call themselves pet-owners, don't have the sense to own a cat, much less a dog. And the article about reducing your dog's eco-footprint! Jeez, sell the SUV you dolt, and quit worrying about tracking my carbon footprint into the house. As my pal Triumph likes to say, "I poop on you."

republicans invest in porn

This is really too funny. El Presidento Bush, who apparently has the foresight of a bush, has stoked the fires of the porn industry with his economic stimulus package. How much porn does $600 buy anyway?

From the PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- An unforeseen and surprising beneficiary of the Economic Stimulus Plan, a plan that George Bush contends will "boost our economy and encourage job creation," has surfaced this week. An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans' mailboxes across the country.

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, "Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market."

Jillian Fox, spokeswoman for LSGmodels.com, one of the sites reporting figures to AIMRCo, added, "In a June 15, 2008 survey to our members, thirty two percent of respondents referenced the recent stimulus package as part of their decision to either become a new member, or renew an existing membership."

AIMRCo is a non-profit organization that specializes in gathering, interpreting and distributing data on the online adult market. Through surveys, interviews, and information analysis, we attempt to assess trends and opportunities in the Internet market capitalized on by adult paysites, affiliate sites, and traffic trading sites. Using our connected network of over 400 paysites and 2000 affiliates/traffic trading sites, we gather the data necessary to make informed market trend assessments.

Contact:
Kirk Mishkin
Tel: 646-552-4754
Email: kirk@aimrco.com
website: http://www.aimrco.com

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We'll tell you what Warrior Ant Press did with its stimulus check next week and it wasn't to buy porn.

celebrating our independence from absurdity

OK, I got my neighborhood association newsletter in the mail this week, and God Bless their souls...I know they're trying. But sometimes I just have to wonder what's going through people's minds. They mean well, but it's as though no one has stopped to question is this really an appropriate use of our resources and police department.

For the second year in a row, the Roanoke Neighborhood association is paying off-duty Kansas City police officers to patrol the neighborhood for 2 hours on July 4th. The purpose? To enforce the city's ban on fireworks. In other words, to enforce the law. We have to hire the police to selectively enforce the law otherwise they won't do it. But it gets better. The off-duty police officers don't actually enforce the law. What they do is the first time they catch you shooting illegal fireworks during this 2-hour window, they warn you that doing so within the city limits is against the law.

Whoa! I'm scared now. And if they catch you a second time, then they not only confiscate your fireworks (is this in the ordinance?) but they also write you a ticket. So if I'm 17 and shooting fireworks, what do you think the chances are that the police would catch me doing it twice. Hell, if I was 17, I'd set off the 1000 pack of Black Cats just to get their attention. Then I'd move to a flanking position, lay down down some smoke bombs to create a little confusion, and fire a buzz bombs over their head. Then beat feet while my buddies on the other side of the park layed down covering fire with a simultaneous launch of 3-dozen bottle rockets.

Last night, the 3rd, it was a virtual war zone in the neighborhood. Guess the POleASE were busy getting paid to enforce a different law. I really could care less if folks blow off fireworks in town, lord knows I've done it many, many times. As long as you don't burn down the house, or blow off your hand, who cares? What I find ridiculous is that our neighborhood hires policemen to sorta enforce the laws and this doesn't strike the board as a little odd and misplaced. Do we also have to hire them to enforce the laws against property theft, bunco scams, and embezzlement? Murder? Speeding? Where does it stop?

All of this got me to thinking that wouldn't it be fun to go to the police and offer to pay them to enforce a law of your choosing? Something that really irritates you. My pal Chappe suggested that it should be the leash law for cats. Apparently cats must be on a leash when outdoors and this really bothers Chappe (a dog person). I thought this was a good idea but only if after the second offense, the police would be forced to drown the cat in a bucket of water they carried expressly for the purpose. The buckey we would provide free of charge (another example of public/private partnerships!) and on the side would be written,

KCMO POLICE DEPT.
CAT DROWNING BUCKET
OFFICIAL USE ONLY

Now don't you think that if one were to go to the Police Headquarters and suggest such a cock-a-mamie idea, that the desk sergeant would have you locked up for 48 hours of observation?

Then why not for the fireworks? If the neighborhood board is so worried about fireworks then maybe we should lock them up in a quiet place over the weekend.

Happy Independence Day. Don't blow off your hand, or burn down your neighbors house, and if you absolutely insist on shooting off fireworks in town, then have the sense to stop after the 1st warning. Or do it after 9:30 pm when the police leave.

save the last dance for her

“The Convention is a political trade show that only happens once every four years and the whole world will be watching. We hope that you will be a part of our Democratic Convention Summit program that will offer substantive policy and political discourse, as well as a unique opportunity to personally connect with national Democratic leaders.”
Nancy Jacobson, Democratic fund-raiser and wife of Democratic pollster Mark Penn, speaking to the NYTimes about her $10,000,by invitation only, Democratic National Convention event with candidates, policy makers and the glitterati.

For the $10K, Ms. Jacobson promises at least three “private small group meetings with governors, senators and thought leaders (including Kevin Spacey and Laura Dern!)” and lunch with senior Obamaites at the Ritz-Carlton. The option is being offered to the tired, huddled masses yearning to choose the Democratic nominee for the leader of the free world. “This is for people who are looking for something more substantive rather than going from reception to reception.” Like...sex with the rich and powerful?

We're planning on attending but only if She & Him (M.Ward and Zooey Deschanel) agree to play at the Organic Small Batch Bourbon tasting to be held at a location-to-be-disclosed-via-text-message 15 minute before said soiree begins. I can't wait to trade shots with the Clintons and ask Michelle Obama for a dance.

unexpected aerial bombardment of warrior ant press

The WorldWide Headquarters of Warrior Ant Press was stoned early this evening by quarter-size hail dropped from on high. Ants caught in the open unawares, were seen scampering for cover. A flash-flood watch was issued for the antill and workers were temporarily re-located to the Big House. Updates at 10.

my faith-based initiative

Dudes! and Dudettes! I know you can't do anything unless you're elected but do we really have to become a Republican in order to be elected President of this great country? Obama's ringing endorsement of increasing the role of faith-based initiatives of the Bush Administration is making me wonder if Joe Lieberman isn't on his short list of VP candidates. That, and his support of the FISA bill are making me contemplate voting for Frank Moore.

One wonders if Obama considers the fine work that the Trinity United Methodist Church has done (and continues to do) to be one of these bright, shining examples of the private sector helping the poor. Wasn't empowerment the body politic of Rev. Wright's ministry?

What these safe, middle-of-the-road stances really tells me is that Obama is courting several camps that the Republicans have either held, or made strong in-roads into during recent elections. Conservation Christians, blacks, and Hispanics. Given John McCain's shifting stance on abortion and electric fences along our Southern border, the conservatives are leery of him. If Obama can move enough of these votes over to the Dem side, then he can likely off-set the small, but still vocal minority of racists who won't vote for him under any circumstance.

And General Westmoreland is correct. Being a prisoner-of-war, although sad and worthy of our prayers, does not qualify one to be President. Find anoher excuse if you must to vote for McGruff the Crime Dog. If being a POW did matter, then Nit Nomney could turn himself over to Al Queda and be successful in 2012. Unlikely on both counts.


Elsewhere:
the just make sense party

ohio state buckeye fencing team rattles sabers in the white house

Kansas Citian and member of the Ohio State Buckeye NCAA Champion fencing team was recently pointing his saber at the Supreme Allied Commander in, of all places, the White House. That's John Friend, graduate of the once nationally reknowned Central High School fencing program, in the back row with the candelabra growing out of his skull.

Cheers Champion.