mccain to freeze solid over the weekend

In an effort to prove that even though he doesn't have the intellectual curiosity to be President, but still has the mettle, McGruff the Crime Dog will freeze himself in a block of ice over the weekend. The cube is expected to melt in time for McCain to at least vote for himself on Tuesday even as independents continue to abandon his campaign. His VP-candidate, Sarah America, has agreed to campaign in McCain's stead and to occasionally stop, check the geezer's pulse, and feed him fresh-killed meat. Campaign insider's suggest that this event will only partial fulfill one of the Senator's fantasies - the one that includes an igloo, a bear-skin rug, and a sharply-dressed young woman.